A Deal with God.

iShatteredSanity: -Demetrios had been outside the whole day. He had to pay the bills for the tattoo parlor, the bills for the garage, the bills for everything at the Deathclub. But he also had to go and meet with Dietrich who insisted on having a meeting. After being informed about the uproar that was created after the stunt that Demetrios and his ‘gang’ had caused, the Russians had become much more restless, something that forced Demetrios to keep the club closed for the week after the stunt. But Dietrich told Demetrios that he should have kept the club closed for some more time to let things cool down and perhaps go to have a talk with Nikolai about the whole thing. Demetrios agreed and left Dietrich’s office, riding his motorcycle and going back home. On his way home he wondered if things would be the same again, or that the dark cloud in the sky would stay there forever. Finally arriving home, Demetrios passed through the narrow alley and got off his motorcycle to open the garage door. Once the door was open he walked the Ducati inside and turned off the engine. Thinking that he was all alone he did not bother to look around. After closing the door he headed towards the bathroom to wash his face, but as he walked towards the bathroom, something made him divert his gaze towards the small table in front of the couch. The room was dark, yeah, but whatever that thing was, it was bright in color. Demetrios moved closer and realized that it was a book. A sketchbook. Who was the owner of that? Demetrios was about to look around when he noticed that Dixie was there and she was sleeping on the couch. Could that book be hers? Curious as he was, Demetrios flipped the pages and looked at the sketches. Oh damn, those were all amazing. Did Dixie make them? Damn, how much did he know about Dixie? Sighing softly he placed the book back on the table, but not on the page that it was left, he left the book closed. After leaving the book down, he looked at Dixie and leaned close to her, planting a soft kiss on her lips as she slept.- “Sleep well Dixie…”

CharlotteCarrendar:- “DIXIE!…COME ON BABE!”- Travis yelled out, as John was rough housing him, and the other girls were coming out of the petrol station. “I have everything, John….chips, dip, drinks,and…Ice. Where the hell is Dixie?” Cheryl said, as the boys were still mucking around. “Night beach party….WOOHOOO!” -Skye shouted, and the girls started to pile in the car. In the toilets, Dixie was fixing her makeup, and couldn’t hear the others mucking around out at the car. Staring at herself in the mirror, she then looked down at her hand, and the friendship ring that Travis had given her. Tonight was the night, they promised each other, they would wait for this night. Tonight they would give themselves to each other, on the beach, they planned it since tenth grade. Smiling, Dixie was putting on her lipstick, wanting to be perfect. She was so fresh faced, no tatts, a totally different Dixie. John pushed Travis. “WE NEED BEER…Come on, lets go get it and come back and get her. She’s taken too long…and the bottlo will close. Come on Travis.” Travis relented finally. “Fine….BUT THEN we come back and get her. Get in!” – Everyone piled in the car, whooping and cheering, as Dixie opened the door to the service station toilets. The car took off, tyres squealing. “WAIT!!” she cried, running out after the car. How could they forget her? Travis would never leave her behind……”WAIT!!” ~Sound of the Car crash follows, and the scream, that would chill a man to his core. :: “Sleep well Dixie…” Touch of soft lips on her cheek would suddenly have her sit up startled. “WAIT!!” she cried out, and then jerked away from Dem, groggy, not sure whether she was still in the dream, or where she was. Quickly surveying her surrounds, she saw the sketch book she had left out, and the fact it was now on the table, and on the wrong page. “I….when did you get back?”- she drew her fingers through her hair, looking incredibly uncomfortable. <3>

iShatteredSanity: -Demetrios had his eyes half closed as he had leaned closer to Dixie to plant a kiss on her lips, but that did not prevent him from noticing the tears that had dried on her cheeks along with her mascara. “What happened Dixie?”, Demetrios thought, but he kept that thought to himself. “I am sorry for not being here… I am terrible…”, he added to his thoughts as he sighed deeply. Then he moved backwards, only to be startled a bit by Dixie who had just woken up and literally flew off the couch while yelling “Stop”. What was that? Did she have a bad dream or something? What was going on inside her mind? How much Demetrios wished to be able to read her thoughts, even for once. Demetrios sat on the couch and looked at Dixie who was checking her surroundings, not knowing why though. “I….when did you get back?”, Dixie asked.- “I just came. What’s wrong? Come here and tell me if you like.” –Demetrios said and opened his arms to hold her in case she wanted to sit with him. But deep down something told him that this time she was going to sit next to him. She was not her usual self, and it was really obvious. While Demetrios had questions to ask her, such as her tears and the book, he did not make any of them. It was not the time. After all he loved her and he did not want to force her to do something against her own will, and nothing could change that. He could wait for Dixie to open up by herself, he could wait for as long as it was needed.-

CharlotteCarrendar:- It was a dream. No, it was a nightmare. It was reliving that fateful night, when the young Dixie, the child, became a woman in mind, but not in true spirit. Part of her died in that car, even though she was not in the accident. Her heart torn assunder. Dixie’s mascara stained cheeks, were quite visible, and she could feel it on her skin. Her hair wild, from the way she had been sleeping. Heart beating…pound..pound.. pound. Dixie reached up to her face and rubbed it with her palm in some mad attempt to clean the marks off, but it only smeared it, making it worse. Eyes shot back at Dem, as he asked. “I just came. What’s wrong? Come here and tell me if you like.” He was so kind and sincere, and probably was tired, too tired for the ramblings of a half mad Aussie. Softly, she answered. “I think I had a nightmare….I uhm…”*her mind was racing, as she tried to compose herself, but her brow, was knitting, and she clearly looked disturbed. Fidgetting, she sat closer to him, almost touching. Like a nervous jack rabbit, her shoulders drawn in, like she was trying to shrink. What to do? What to say? She promised she would always tell him everything, but this one thing, had been like a curse, a tale that she kept locked deep down, for if she let it out, chances are, she could completely fall apart. Casting her gaze up to him, she felt her heart tighten in her chest. Freedom, from the nightmares…Freedom from her fears. “How is Alex?” she said, suddenly steering the conversation back to him. <3>

iShatteredSanity: -Demetrios waited for Dixie’s response and/or reaction about her telling him what was going on. While he was impatient about other things, matters of the heart were not so easy to deal with. Seeing that she tried to hide the fact that she was crying and later that she tried to change the subject, he thought of making a joke to change the mood.- “You know, you look like a panda bear. I like them actually. I never thought that I would have such a beautiful one to live with me.” –Demetrios said and sticked his tongue out while making a funny face. Of course he hoped that this would make Dixie smile or even laugh a little bit. He did not know what was in her mind, but he knew that whatever it was, it was haunting her. They were very similar in that field, so he could tell. He himself had many secrets, a huge darkness that kept haunting him.- “As for the dork, he is doing fine. He is probably playing some video game again, or tries to find a woman to like a Lolita so that he can have some fun; whatever kind of fun that is.” –Demetrios replied to Dixie’s question about Alexandros.- “He told me to give you his regards though.” –Demetrios added and smiled softly, still trying to make the mood a better one.-

CharlotteCarrendar:- One thing that Dixie adored about Dem, was how he was able to take her moods, and with the easiest of sayings, or the quirky way he looked at her, he had the power to take her broken wings, and lift her spirit up, so she could soar once more. All it took was a simple question, and this actually had her smile, and release a laugh, which was the right medicine for how she felt. “You know, you look like a panda bear. I like them actually. I never thought that I would have such a beautiful one to live with me.” –A panda? Really? She was that bad. “Oh…oh stop it. You know I look more like….a really sexy emo vampire fairy bunny demon….thing.” Dixie showed a crooked half smile, making light of what he said, since though pandas are nice…they are really big…fat, and hairy, which she didn’t think she was. Dixie curled herself forward, so her cheek was resting on her knee, which she had drawn up onto the couch, her head turned up to face him. Dixie knew that by the way the book was on the table, he had seen it. She let out an audible sigh, like she was about to be marched before the firing squad, the end of the road, so to speak. Listening to Dem speak of Alex, she chuckled as he called him a dork, and then when he was probably trying to find some lolita to have fun with. “Checking out her bra size, no doubt. Extra teeny tiny….heh.” Trying to crack jokes, while being down, is incredibly hard to do, and the walls were breaking, as she could see the end in sight. ” Dem….I called my folks today…and uhm…I told them, I’m not going home……ever.” <3>

iShatteredSanity: -A what? A demon vampire fairy bunny demon? That actually made Demetrios laugh softly.- “Well, that must had been the gangbang of the millennia. But no, you are not any of that. Dixie, you are my cute little angel with feathers made from ink.” –Demetrios said and winked playfully at Dixie while making another funny face. He was glad though. Her mood had changed. Slightly, but it still changed. And he was grateful about that. And of course when Demetrios said a panda, he was talking about the make up of Dixie’s. True, Pandas were fluffy, hairy, fat and all that jazz, but in a way Dixie was his teddy bear that he always held to when he slept. She was his addiction, one that he could not get rid off so easily. On her comment account Alexandros, Demetrios laughed softly once again and nodded his head.- “Yeah. I do wonder if he will be caught in a leather coat going from high school to high school just to see the small breasted girls.” –Demetrios suddenly froze and looked at Dixie.- “No, I actually don’t want to see that. Oh man, what did I just think of?” –Demetrios sighed in a comical way and shook his head. But that sigh of his soon changed into a worried one after hearing Dixie talking about the phone call to her parents. Demetrios merely nodded his head. Judging from her sigh, her body expressions and the way she spoke, he realized that it did not work out so good.- “I see… I am not going to ask how the whole thing went.” –Demetrios said. In the back of his head several flashes of his own parents began to appear. In all honesty, those flashes were something that he had suppressed for a long time since he did not want to remember those bastards who thought only of the military career of their son instead of his own health. Shaking his head, he looked at Dixie again, offering her a soft smile.- “You are a grown woman now. You can make any decisions you want without having to explain yourself to them anymore.”

CharlotteCarrrendar:- Again, she walked the emotional tightrope, so close to the edge, wobbling slightly. She could see it in the distance, the words, she would say, that could rush out in a torrent, or she could dam it all up again, and hide it forever behind her walls. His reply to her suggestion, that the coupling of parents, to make a sexy emo vampire fairy bunny demon….thing, would be likened to the gang bang of the millennia, and while hilariously funny to imagine fantasy mythical beasts in some made orgy, the idea of capturing her parents in the act, left her cold. Shuddering and trying to clear her mind from that god awful visual, she smiled listening to how Dem described how Alex would be caught wearing a long leather coat and hanging around high schools, hoping to catch a glimpse of some small breasted chicks. So wrong, even she couldn’t put her mind there. “No, I actually don’t want to see that. Oh man, what did I just think of?” Dixie sat up and brought her elbows to her knees, and rested her closed fists under her chin. This could be viewed as a way of shielding her body, even if she was aware of what she was doing, her sub concious was probably preparing her for his reactions to what she had to say. She gave a small sample of what she had told her parents, but that was not the whole story. Her eyes cast to the book, the sketch book, and then her face looked pained. Bit further Dixie…he will understand…tell him Dixie…tell him. Dixie then stared up at the ceiling, almost like she was asking to make a deal with God. “I uhm..need to explain a few things….to you, that I haven’t really had the chance too. Uhm…*she kept breaking her sentences, pausing, like she was trying to find how to put things in the best possible way. “Okay….there was a reason why, I came to Europe, and not just to backpack…I..uhm..well, my parents thought it would be good for me, to….study….in paris. *she extended a hand quickly to the sketch book, and then pulled her arm back and brought her fist up before her mouth, elbow on her knee. A waiver in her voice, for the next part would be hard to explain. “I got to Paris, but uhm some crook at the airport, switched my bags in the taxi…and…all my money for the classes, was stolen. Flat broke in Paris…heh, not the best place, for an Aussie tourist…heh..Uhm…and so I got offered a ride with the Wallabies, tour bus, cause I happened to have known one of the trainers from my Dad’s pub….and so…yeah, they let me join the tour. Like a little…mascot. *she coughed, as she knew she was rambling, and probably going far off track. “That’s how I ended in Prague…and my folks had no idea, till today. Uhm….they demanded I go home. And my Dad….had to say it. He just had to…I mean….why…why bring that up again? Why?..*tears were welling as she slammed her fists down into the couch and she shot up to standing, knocking the sketch book off the table and falling open at the sketch of Travis. Dixie realised what she had done, and quickly bent down to pick the sketch book up, but then collapsed in a heap, seeing the picture she had sketched, whilst tear stricken and in despair. “Ever feel like…God makes mistakes? Takes away the good people….and leaves us wretches behind?” <3>

iShatteredSanity: -There was this silence while Demetrios was watching Dixie’s expressions change from one moment to another. There was something that she was afraid of telling. Afraid perhaps because she did not want to let Demetrios know? Afraid because what was about to come out was her nightmare that kept coming to haunt her? Afraid because she could lose him? Demetrios did not know, but he was waiting patiently. He knew that Dixie was about to tell him what was eating her from her insides like poison, so he merely leaned back on his seat and looked at her. He noticed that she grabbed the sketchbook and held it as if it was the most precious thing in her whole life. “Good thing I waited.”, Demetrios thought and looked into her eyes as she began speaking, diminishing the silence in the garage. He sat there, silently, and heard the story that Dixie spoke, nodding his head every once in a while. Her life was not for the faint of hearts, but sadly such thing happens a lot in European countries. Still though, that was not a good thing to happen. Someone having their wings broken at the very moment they fly off their nest? That’s the most awful thing that could happen. But Dixie was strong willed and she managed to find a way to survive. And so Demetrios found out how Dixie ended up in Prague. Truly a huge accomplishment for a young woman like her. A soft smile appeared on his lips when she said that she was the mascot of the team. Demetrios did not mind Dixie talking about herself, he loved listening to her talking. But soon his smile faded away when she mentioned her father and the special something that he had mentioned on the phone. Demetrios leaned forward and closer to Dixie’s body, opening his arms and wrapping them around her while petting her head.- “Shhhh… You don’t have to say more right now.” –Demetrios said in a soft whispering tone.- “Shhhhh… It is alright…” –Demetrios added as he kissed her forehead softly. “Ever feel like…God makes mistakes? Takes away the good people….and leaves us wretches behind?”, that was the last phrase that Dixie spoke and made Demetrios sigh deeply. The image of Marianna flashed before his very eyes and Demetrios shook his head to make that image go away.- “God is just another kid with no morality who loves to pull pranks on others. God is just an arrogant bastard who does not really care about us. God is like those rich bastards who only think of themselves and they act like saviours only when they want to show off.” –Demetrios said again and held Dixie tighter into his arms, not wanting to see more tears on her beautiful place.- “God has taken too much, but he still wants more. And then they say that greed is a sin for the humans. Yeah, right.”

CharlotteCarrendar: – Like an angel with great wings, Demetrios enveloped her, but with powerful arms, trying to soothe her shattered heart. The image she had sketched in her mad moment, trying to get the boy out of her head, and onto the paper. The sadness of the boy, looking away from her, lost….lost to her…lost to the world, but frozen in time. “Shhhh… You don’t have to say more right now.” But that was it, the dam broke, and she let out gut wrenching sobs, as she rocked back and forth in his arms, The wail from deep within her very soul, crying out….as if to let God himself know, how much she was broken, that she survived….she should have been in that car….she should have been in that car. “He’s dead….they are all dead. And I can’t understand…I can’t understand…WHY…WHY AM I ALIVE?!- the sobs racked her body, as she tore off the picture from the book and started to rip it to shreds, paper tearing, as she could no longer control the tidal wave of emotions. “It was suppost to be the night…it….they died!!” -this would be hard for Demetrios to see her fall apart like this, but they say in order to defeat your demons, you must face them. “They…drove off….without me…*she hiccups cries, and turns to look at him*…he….he was my ..first crush…he…died….they died…barely…two hundred metres up the road…..Why…Why would God kill angels….why?” <3>

iShatteredSanity: -Demetrios knew all too well that he could not stop what was about to come. Dixie was already in a state where she could barely hold her emotions in check anymore. And as he suspected, it happened. Demetrios had never seen Dixie in such a state before. Ok, he had seen her in a bad emotional state, but not like that. She was really broken, shattered. Demetrios did not want to say a single word, he waited till she was done talking, he waited till she got it out of her system. He held her tight into his arms, not stopping her from letting her tears flow. It was a necessity so that her mind would not collapse. Unlike him many years ago when ‘that’ happened. On that day a few years ago, Demetrios died inside. Listening to Dixie spoke, more images of Marianna flashed before his eyes, but he shook his head to make them go away. He was a man who always kept his sorrow to himself and he never wanted to bother others with his own issues. Despite him being honest and showing his feelings and emotions, he was actually showing only a small amount of the dark emotions. But still he managed to make those thoughts go away and after a small silence, he spoke.- “As I said, God is a greedy bastard. No matter how hard this may sound, you were lucky Dixie. You had a guardian angel watching over you, disobeying God’s orders. You were meant for greatness, that angel knew that very well. It was not your time Dixie, it was not your time.” –Demetrios said and kissed her forehead once more, trying to soothe her a bit.- “Don’t think about what you lost anymore, think about what you have gained. When a door closes, another one opens. When we lose something, we always find something to replace that. Sometimes it may not be better than what we had, but in some rare cases, we can find the best diamond. Do keep that in mind Dixie angel.” –Demetrios said and forced a smile on his face as he looked into Dixie’s eyes and kissed her nose.-

CharlotteCarrendar:- The days, the weeks, the funerals. The questions, the lack of answers. The guilt, the hurt, the self mutilation, the suicide attempt. The threats. Then came the crazy year. Dixie pushed the boundaries, started getting tattoos, drugs, stealing cars, trying to live….trying to feel pain. Trying to find a quick way out. Living but not living. Feeling but not feeling. Breathing…but drowning, everyday. Same nightmares, the same faces, played out, in a relentless reel. This was her torture, her punishment. The weight of the guilt of the five souls in that car. She couldn’t let it go….she was always reminded. So she started to draw. To sketch them out of her mind. And as she did, she discovered she had a rare gift. Her ability to draw from memory. Her mother came in her bedroom, since Dixie had taken off one weekend and left the door unlocked by accident. The walls, were a sea of faces, of the same five kids that were in that car, that fateful night. She blamed herself, she blamed herself for taking so long…cause if she had come out sooner, they would have not hit the garbage truck. No one ever told her it wasn’t her fault, that God was not punishing her. So she decided to create the whip for her own back. Her drawing her one release. But as she was held in his arms,and he spoke the words of sense and reason, she knew he was right. Plagued for so long, by self doubt and anger, regret, sorrow….all the things that we do to grieve, but she had never grieved the one thing she lost…..herself. Hearing Dem say, she was his angel, she found a light spark, in the darkness of her heart, and turned to curl into him, her sobs were less, and she coiled her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. He didn’t hate her, as much as she had hated herself. “I never told anyone…I died that night too.” <3>