| Larry Hauser | Age: 50 | Non-Modified Soldier |
| Chief Medical Officer | FC: Hugh Laurie |
Major Hauser is the Head Doctor at the Hospital on Echo Base. He is a brilliant Practitioner of Medicine, but his Personal Skills leave much to be desired. He isn’t here to make Friends that much is clear, however he is greatly respected for the lives that he saves. Maj Hauser developed the Bio-Foam and often does whatever it takes to keep his Hospital supplied. He has a good relationship with LTC Majors and the pair often share a drink or two.
Character name : Larry Hauser
Why you like this character? : I have so many reasons for liking him, there isn’t enough space in this thread I don’t think. A character with such a deep dislike of people, and his patients in general, his sheer brilliance in coming up with the answers to many medical mysteries…and…he is a right asshole. What a challenge?!
Quote : “Do I get bonus points, if I act like I care?”
Audition post :
The night of the wild shenanigans at the Club Echo, would see an ambulance pull up in the ER bay, with its lights flashing, and the siren finally turned off. A team from inside the ER rushed out as the doors to the back of the ambulance were opened, to reveal an unidentified patient, who was actually kneeling on the gurney with a sheet covering him. The paramedics helped to unload the gurney, and the wheels clattered to the road while the patient groaned in pain. Sitting inside the ambulance was a scantily clad woman, who looked like she worked at Club Echo.
“I never thought it would get stuck…but he asked me to push it up there.”
The paramedics helped her out of the back of the ambulance, and she was clearly in a state of shock, as the patient was wheeled into the ER.
In his office which was down the hall from the ER, was Major Larry Hauser, who was going over a terminally ill patient’s files, whilst throwing a ball and catching it, without looking. His appearance was..scruffy to say the least. His jacket hung loosely on his lanky frame, and he hadn’t shaved in days. There was a knock at his door, when the Hospital administrator, a woman whom the Major had something of an eye for entered his office.
“Major…you need to come see this. One of the young Corporals, he….uhmm..”
Catching the ball out of the air, Larry glanced up with a stony expression on his face, and said flatly.
“Not like you to be lost for words. Come on…loosen those lips of yours and tell me. He…what?’
“I think you need to see this…please, can you come now?”
“Only if you hold my hand.”
-Entering the ER cubicle where the young Cadet was on all fours, Major Larry was somewhat shocked and then found himself trying to hide a smirk, as he walked around and observed the beer bottle that was stuck in Corporal Johnson’s anal cavity.
“You know…you’re supposed to use your mouth to drink. This is a new one.”
The young Corporal buried his head in the pillow and a muffled sound was heard.
“Just…get it out. And..don’t tell my CO. I am so dead…so dead.”
“How much are you willing to keep this a secret? I mean, I am happy to change the report…but you see, we are in need of a certain type of drugs that is kinda hard to get around here. Twenty thousand should keep me quiet.” The Chief medical officer often resorted to unorthodox tactics to help get his hospital the very things they needed, and this…was one hell of a way of getting it.
“But..but..but…”
“Yes, you have a beer bottle lodged in it. Ooops…did I say that loud enough to be heard?”
<3>
